Random Thoughts

There are thoughts that would come and go... Relationships that stay the same.. inability of proper expression and still feelings... I wasn't talking of romance...

My work life balance is something I never get. I mean I have what I need and I don't know what more.. it's like you are where you feel and suddenly you are too behind...

It was funny...

Things I now miss / forgot.. I love convertibles... How can failures make me forget love I had for these cars... I used to love checking them out... And sitting in them ... How can I forget because life took some bad turns... So much changes... Why lose love you have in your heart...

Very old quote: love in your heart wasn't put there to stay.. love is not love till you give it away..

Stillness..

Life is on standstill for very long.. Infact a lot happened but everything is still or may be we are stable and unable to handle it.

Is it a feeling or just stupid lockdown.

Somehow it is just god damn same.. nothing stays same.

Also, it could be vicious circle or we prefer to go back to same feelings or we can never change core basics. Change feels painful and we hardly accept it nor do we actually do it...

Funny thing is a lot changes on surface.. and a lot stays same.

At times, I wonder if it's vicious circle and would stay. Or its Me.. Mostly would be second option.

Second inning got over...

So, now i've decided to quit my second job and reason is only remuneration...

Work wise it was good... but when I thought this manager may ruin my career as I have refused to work on his project was not that true... after all he got demoted for his performance

Well, onsites were not great but I went through most challenging phases of my personal life. ..

Am really glad that it's over...

Health of my parent is on speedy recovery and so am I...

People who love us are the ones who stand for you.... whenever its required... doesn't matter if u r there or not...

I love raja, karan, bhabhe, Jyoti, bindu... most supportive siblings I know about... I know they are my cousins, bond is better than what most siblings share these days..

Finally one inning got over...

hey .. M back.. Finally after 4 yrs and 7 months, i have moved out of my first company...

There is lots to be missed and lots to be thankful of....

I did try for jobs at couple of places, so infrastructure wise, MT isnt bad... I have to say HR people could be really annoying, but somehow I guess managers are responsible for it. Its same drama, everywhere....

Damn world

Why is every body else under sun bothered about my marriage than me and my family?

I'll see when / If i want to settle down

For god sake keep your unwanted advice to yourself

Life@europe part 2

Hi :)



So I must say my desire to see winters has been fulfilled!!!



I am thankful for that :) :D Infact I will be able to see snow is additional bonus.. Am really thankful for that.....

Now lets move on:D

First visit to any city was that of Namur.... well I really liked architecture in Europe and I was mazed.. I def enjoyed the place.. Even if I dint liked the company with me :(

Well, ice creams would be speciality here.. I find them much better than indian icecreams...There are more flavors...So many that u have to think, Which one to eat :D

I have enjoyed Cold weather over here.. But man.. What u have in CHd or delhi is nothing close to cold weather of Brussels... man it snows here...:D
I have enjoyed hail storms so far... I hope snow fall happens :D

Ok, Now lets have some bad part...
It is too Cold to enjoy any outing.... :( and u freeze in ur short span of outdoor life.. Even if everything else is centrally heated...
@my office : Full toosh politics... 7 members in a team... 2-4 groups.. and bitching all the time.. And men claim that they dont bitch!!!

Amazingly double standards are available every where. I saw them going out with a girl all time to pubs and discs... Moment she is gone they are bitching about her how crazy she is and she hits all wrong men when she is drunk... Why the F*** were they with her in first place? Even about their own so called group members... you should see that.. Who so ever is not around.. they are telling one thing or other... Amazing..
Why is it so simple for people to nt to have ny standard? I am really blessed to have my frds.. Sincerly they are all very worthy people... Compared to Rich men I am now working with here!!! Why the hell am I even comparing?
I think it would be best in my interest to not to be honest with these gentlemen(Pun Intended) as I have to live with them for more than a year and I have already seen million colors...
And my luck.. I hate politics.. and here I am in the middle of one... Well I could have learned a bit of politics.. After all it was all in family.. So what if that was Mother's Side :P
Imagine when u can see what all crap is happening and you dont knw how to handle it.. It is not a good feeling, U need to l earn a lot.... Be positive baby ;)

Life as such in Europe. .

Well, Here is a new experience... To be in a new place, totally different environment..

Yes, language is a barrier.. I use google translate for all documents. Infact at times, i have even written down what i wanted and showed it to shop keepers.

As such , yes, being lonely is difficult in Europe. In india, I used to prefer to be alone, but here its really a problem to be alone. I do not know what exactly i miss.May be companion we take for granted in India are no longer here. Even as m alone in flat i find it difficult to be alone. So need to think of what all different time pass options can be choosen. :)

Well, yes I must say I found people racist. Still, some where there is a feeling of brown/black/white :)

What I did observe was people same across world. Human feelings are similar across. Well I find India much advanced, in terms of thought process and culture.

See, people have kids and then gradually start calling thier partners as thier wives...Mostly becoz some one in society pressurizes them to do it that way.

We have a better thought of process of first having a wife and then kids...

I honestly find so much information in Wiki as incorrect that I feel irritated. Esp today... And now I remember when my Sis used to say that much of info on wiki is wrong, So beware.

I have definately started to miss my family... Why cant we value things on time? rather than realizing their value very late or when we are alone? i wish solitude will bring much more sense in me. Thank god i have luxury of writting and not being scared of getting caught.. Why do we have sense of shame? Is it good or bad?

kind of miss Indian Sun too..Where its sunny in mornings... here you have dark/cloudy mornings.. I hardly feel like waking up. Infact I am not even aware if it is day or night. Just need to trust the watch..

Life@europe

Hi

So second continent to be visited by me is Europe...
And best thing is that I am here on a work permit. :D

How I wish I am able to locate a accomodation for myself... But looks like it will take some time.

Well i must say i was totally unattached when i was flying for US but this time i dont knw why i felt something was being left behind. I dont know why but I did not feel like coming here in Europe....

I was feeling like i m leaving something when i was leaving Blore.

And yes, bad luck as far as m concerned was evident with missing of flight and immediate rebooking for coming to CHD. Its another fact that i was before time for my flight. I am not sure if it happened for good or bad... but it seems like bad... could b it was for my good.. After that, honestly, i did not shop much. I was plain lazy in doing my work.
Waise bhe 20 Kg main kaunse teer maar lene the maine....
Waise mera phone itna bajta hai, par iss baar calls e nahin aa rahe the.. country chodh rahi hun, par lagta nahin kisi ko fark padta hai....kisi ko bhe....family to meri theek he thi....

Well, honestly i was excited to fly for europe, after i started for delhi... Man, finally i realised, its time i'll fly for europe.. A new place.. one of the dreams we have, when we join IT industry :P

Ya, why I was not happy previously? Come on, you are single.. So no strings attached.. Girl have fun!!! once you are woman, there will be hell lot of strings attached...
Well before staring for Europe, first time ever my frds were suggesting me to go n try Alcohol.. Am sure they have lost thier senses. I am in full control... God knows what I will do there, becoz all my new team mates drink..Infact it's european culture..

bas bhagwan na kare ki mera dimag kharab ho.
Delhi Airport rocks.. i liked it, It was small but well built,,, Where in the world do u see prayer room in the International airport? ya, Duty free shops are beyond my pocket, So I just clicked pics. Initaially I had tough time thinking how to accomodate my luggage. Limit is 20 Kg..Mine was ard 27. Girl at check in counter was hot and nice.. rare combination :D

Well I actually liked european families.Contrary to my belief, people love thier family here.
And I was idiot who forgot to take her apartment address as well as room number along with PIN required to enter the apartments.. My colleague was scolding me nicely.

Room was good . It was raining. My new team mate had told me that it doesnt rain here.. so that was first prank i discovered....
So first night was with maggie and Lemon Tea...

Well first day to office and i discovered another prank. A pic was sent to me about team members... But 4 names were incorrectly assigned. I actually wasnt convinced for firsts 2 hrs about who is LUC and who is Sanders... good for filip that he was on vacation after playing this prank :-X
I really liked my DELL LATITUDE E6410..Wow..............
Well Pizza was really bad.... I just couldnt eat and imagine, one of my fellow colleague was fooling me that beer isnt alcohol (they were drinking Duuel - Strong beer)
Shopping was totally different experience. Everything was in french and I know only English. Some how I picked stuff based on images.Pragya helped me in it.
Second day too I shopped but it was with Ishan. This time i dont know why i was missing something a lot at night and third day was email that my mom had called my frd by mistake. It was a missed call. I choose not to clarify nything becoz wrong call is pretty common.
Pragya came to my room on Wed and she was laughing a lot at my soft toy. I dont think its origins were questioned so I told that it came in my backpack.Simple ans.... Well Y to tell her that I sleep with it :D
Well for your background, my soft toy is a puppy. I am not aware about breed and stuff...Anyway it is a lovely gift. And I love it :)
On fourth day we have allocated to a new office and it will be far from old office : commute + place is office area. I am really bored as there is nothing much to do here adn still i have to sit in office and do some time pass.. Am sure by number of blogs u see for today's date, it will be an easy guess!!! I hope this day gets over... I feel hungry all the time in europe.. I swear. its like i never ate in years!!!

After long time i am in cold place.... i have missed winters a lot in blore!!!!

Life@USA

Well the most complicated and the best thing.... is our life..

It shows us so much and teaches us so much....

So many ups and downs and i till date dont know if it was bad or good... If we ever see... in long term we do remember that all sudden bad times were actaully a blessing in disguise.. they taught us valuable lessons.

Regarding my life.. I dont know what should be told and what should be kept secret. It had it's own Ups and downs..Even today, I am confused...

Well to begin with, I had many dreams..... So many will never b fulfilled on time...And many were ful filled. What I do realise is that with passage of time I have become a pessimistic person. I no longer relish the positives in my life...But keep on being bothered by something small insignificant I could not achieve. For eg . I got chance to go for My first abroad Trip , That to USA...Still I was depressed that it wasnt on time and people were not ready to send me.. Man who cares.. I was able to go and others werent.....
Most people feel lonely when they are in a new place... I was in totally new place, infact a different continent altogether, and I never felt alone.. thanks to wonderful friends I have... Y did I not thank my stars for these wonderful people in my life and bother about what my colleagues might think or feel...

how long will office colleagues last.. these friends are for years ... and will stay... jobs may come and go...

I realised in USA how rich indian culture is and how strong relationships are in India. The fact is v take our family for granted, their love for granted... we take loyality of our partner for granted...Come to US..U have Money , independance..but where is the richness of family values? where is love? They sleep together but there is no trust on each other.. man... Nonsens

you may /may not even have both parents taking care of you... Imagine being without single parent for some time in your child hood, here kids have childhood with single parent.

People say that Americans are rude and stuff, but if you observe closely, they are very helping people, only thing is that they need their personal space which people in india will never understand......After all whats life without masala news / gossip :P

There is one thing I love in US : Cheap electronics.. man.. it was really cool.

Most memorable will be :Yes, Phone calls and chats on communicator :)
waise kaam bhe karti thi, par baad main busy ho gayi thi , jab saare free the :P
Achha bhe tha, kuch bura bhe laga...

Waise US k managers bahut understanding hote hai..Had it been any Indian manager, mine vacation would have got cancelled for sure, But she agreed and I had fabulous vacation in US with my cousins.. I saw them after years.... honestly years....

And yes, what nothing could do in india, USA did in few days.. I had to cook food.... Man, m not proud of myself about it either. See, fact is that I stayed vegetarian and veg food options werent that great in areas nearby(walk able)

I do remember cold nights spent alone : watching movies.. I learned how to use torrents :D And these days I am capable of giving KT on same... thanks to Appu :D

Appraisal

Appraisal:-



What is your opinion about it?



Some thing I never dreaded till actual result came out...

Well, result is always below your expectations... :P
After my study of 3 years, i have concluded it depends on your rapport with your manager. if they like some one else, sm1 has to take a bad rating :P

Chennai trip.. flavor of South

Hi
This weekend i went to chennai for about four days...
weather was hot inspite of regular rains
i liked city centre a lot but sincerly i hate spencers(bekar jageh)
My actual reason was inability to get required things to shop and also irresponsible attitude of kashmiri shop keepers

my train arrived at station at around 4.20 pm(before time )
and my friend's father took us to her place
first impression of chennai roads was good one
Area where we went was clean and sea facing(marina beach)
still it was not cool and it literally reminded me of chandigarh climate(Time when i left for bangalore)
i wont say it was too hot but after living in bangalore,now i dont like summers

First thing i noticed was a hanging of lord krishana in wood and it reminded me of my masi ji...
Second was a painting with similar pattern as sofa of my house.....

Really feel was very good

Moreover family was very loving and nice.It was an assamese family btw
I had best of my eating times over there
Food was too good and literally reminded me of home made(north indian food)
i tasted proper rajmah after 3 -4 months.you get rajmah here as well but curry is not as rich as home made.

First time i saw "kala jeera",its something used for cooking but my mom confirmed that we dont use it for cook (thus reason i dnt knw abt it)

her sister made a very sexy chocolate cake with creame(main khush...)

I liked city center a lot.
More over i met friends of my friend there and they were really very nice
Best thing about them was no pretentions and joyous attitude
I had tough time when they were talking in tamil but they simply shifted to english when i told them that i can not understand it
Chat sessions were really joyous ones

Then we went to savera
i hope m saying name rightly
here u'll find eating joints.one restraunt i loved----it turned out to be a bar so cudnt go....
Second choice turned out to be a disc --- missed that too
after that i stopped asking as my frd was laughing too much
friends place was kool one
mere lag gayi thi jab sab mere peechhe dance ko le kar pad gaye the
upar se meri saheli aur kaam kharab karne ko yeh bhe bata rahi hai ki mujhe ganna bhe aata hai

badi mushkil se bachhi
ya danced though... :)

next day hum jahan gaye wahan i tasted masala dosa but found taste same as that of sagar ratna---kranti's fav place
kulfi flavor ice cream at same shop was too good but that shop keeper cudnt speak hindi nor cud he understd english
she helped me there..
dukandar pe itna gussa aya na seriously,..
imagine jo told me that chennai has 3 seasons....hot,hotter,hottest ---kitni symmetry hai yaar,,,,,,,,,

biggest stupidity was to go for sleep that evening so missed outing in evening

but at night we went for ice cream to some parlour and chocolate sundae was great-- agreed it was choice of my friend as i hardly knew much abt place

then long drive ,... :-) :-D
dont worry it was family long drive and marina beach a bit

next day suji ka halwa(its my dad's fav but mine second fav) and puriyan to awesome thi
main literally puriyon ka taste he bhul gayi thi blore aa k
kahan roz muh marti thi.....
yahan canteen ki puriyan bekar hoti hain.

there is one sweets shop in spencer..bahut sahi hai yaar...
do try it

now was turn to go to another friend's place as she was waiting for me since yesterday

It was first time i were going to meet her parents and truly were damn scared
but moment i entered her home,her parents calmed all my worries.

very nice parents of hers too.
they were really considerate that i can not speak tamil and spoke wid me in eng and hindi only
you all will blast in laughter but her mom actually taught me how to eat south indian food
situation was comical as well as embarassing
imagine some one teaching a 22 year old how to eat
kahan north indian dhang se main bahut tehzeeb se khati hun khana

but i enjoyed that food too
very different ..
for all those who dont knw,like me...,south indian meal is four course that means four different things in different times
first some sabzi wid rice then some thing(name i forgot,orange powder -- Poddi) wid rice
third will be rasam and some powder(forgot name,cream color ) wid rice
and then curd rice wid pickel

Are main batana bhul gayi kafi mahino baad maine ganne ka juice piya
u knw just to embarass me my frd asked me to drink badam milk...it was awesome and full of nuts ---dil khush

pata hai woh sara rasta mujhe chhedhti hue aayi ki main kaju deekh k khush,actually us time sharm bhe aayi thi k kaju kar k usne mujhe woh peene ko kaha
here i went first time to a jain temple and learned about jain culture from a female who spoke in hindi ,in temple
sow carpet main maine ek mandir bhe deekha(hindu mandir).it was too very different types.

yaar har state k mandir different hain...
badi confusion hoti hai

maine saari baandhne ka ek aur tareek seekha
actually my frds mom was trying to teach her to wear a saree and i too joined :D

mast hai yaar
south indians ki saree main mastery hai...unquestioned
ek min main saree kaun pehan sakta hai yaar.
yahn to 1 ghanta laga tha farewell pe....

next morning i had some thing similar to noodles and it was also great.esp lemon flavor

oye maine banana k flower ki sabzi bhe khayi,achhi hoti hai yaar
Atleast home made to achhi thi and sambhar is also gud

market ka.....i dnt like anything

As most of you dont knw,for south indian dishes you should taste tamilian food

kannadigas and tamilians prepare very differently (ya even those dosa's)it's more of jaggery in Kannada food and yes andhra food is very spicy..
by spicy i mean lot of chillies..

dhuyen nikal jayenge

meri tamilian frd actual main telgu hai but they did nt make spicy food
infact every thing was appropriate and i liked it

and yes malayalees add coconut oil to food(traditional,not necc)

i returned to bangalore in bus
my bus started 5 min earlier but reached an hour earlier inspite of one puncture

every thing went too fast

cudnt go around much on 2 oct as it off there(no markets open) and 1 oct was bandh(partial,supreme court was againt it but they were spiling acid on ppl was rumour which i did nt feel like verifying)

i met one muslim female in  us who cud speak hindi in chennai... and at back was tamilian female
tamilian enquired abt me abt engg studies.I said its easy not that tough
uske beechare bete ki re aa rakhi thi engg drawing main
i said it's tough subject..
imagine aunty ne meri bhe re nikal di thi exam main
i told her
no re ,even if very less marks

had hai,khamkha fail kar diya yaar woh bhe tab jab maine company ki trning bhe pass kar li

muslim culture bhe yahan diff hai
see, vo jo movies main muslim ko burkhe main deekhate hain na?yahan muslim females burkha pehnte hain
ek hamare north k muslim hai,aaj tak maine ek he baar burkha deekha tha inspite of presence of masjid over there

so thats news from my my end
ab banagalore achha lagta hai ,mausam....too gud
Moreover i like company too

I recieved maximum number of calls while i were in chennai.worst ones were wrong number
waise bhe kabhe phone kiya karo....